junkmail oracle

spring
i s s u e

2002

stories & essays

 

michele benjamin
michele benjamin is a healing arts practitioner from medina. her grandfather used to sell insurance and he used to hand out little cards with his name & phone number on them. then the number changed, so he had the cards reprinted with the new number. she takes ambrotose for her condition.

 

is this hell, or just morton's steakhouse?

this attorney from cleveland goes out on a deposition which was to last about 3 hours or so, when all of a sudden he feels himself being pulled down, down, down into this black space.......he first thinks he is going to hell, but there is no man in a red suit holding a pitchfork.....there is no fire and it isn't even hot there.......then he discovers he is really at Morton's Steakhouse, so he orders a steak, green beans and an iced tea.....he would rather have a long island iced tea, but he fears a headache.....while he is eating he notices the former mayor of cleveland sitting at a table near him.......he is eating a salad with ranch dressing on top....the attorney does not know what entree the former mayor has ordered but they have the same waiter....the attorney wants to ask the former mayor for an autograph but thinks this might not be the right thing to do..then in the middle of chewing his salad, the former mayor must have felt the urge to go the bathroom because he gets up and goes to the little boys room.......this is about the time when the attorney notices that his steak is ugly..... he quickly calls the waiter over to the table and announces: "I ordered a steak and it's ugly.".....the waiter quickly replies "well, sir, I don't like your shoes.".....the funny thing about this is the attorney is not wearing any shoes, he often liked to work barefoot..... sometimes he wears flip flops...orange ones with flowered tassles on the end.

 

poems
art & photos & stuff

home page

submissions


copyright deep cleveland publishing, all rights reserved
comments: deepcleveland@hotmail.com