justin blackburn
www.myspace.com/everyoneloveseachother
In College I
In college I got stoned and cheated on tests
Sat on stairwells like a poet with a bulletproof vest
In college I would run off into the woods, talk to a tree like it was a girl I loved.
Missed my friends and drove around drunk.
In college I would climb on people’s roofs at night
Sleep all day and watch Soap Operas all night
In college I made out with ugly, fat girls while listening to “Teach Your Children Well”
Talk shit to spaceships far away, tried out for the theater
In college I studied math, laughed, had a logical nervous breakdown
Lived in the ghetto with my crack smoking grandmother
In college I screwed girls, then told them to kill me
My parents would pick me up and ask if I was on dope
In college I did not know too well when I met aliens
Hallucinated angels everywhere, never went outside
In college I stole a girl’s panties, masturbated with them
Fell in love while doing my laundry with a little face
In college I talked lots of shit to the professors
Wrote poems all the time and got drunk
In college I ate a lot of meat, did a lot of drugs
Almost got killed buying beer in the ghetto by Desert Storm Army men
In college I would go into other dimensions by dreaming
Enjoyed the comedy of the entire scene
In college I pretended to be sick so I could do more drugs
Thought I had AIDS and never studied
In college I played chess and turned off the television
Walked around on train tracks and made fun of God
In college I tried to jump a train, instead I shit myself and passed out
Dry humped girls on the dance floor
In college I listened to “Blood On The Tracks” for a liquidated two months straight
Pretended to be crazy so I did not have to fit in
In college I wrote a story about a blind guy in a wheelchair looking for his contact lens
Ended up at the college of woe, never found my contact lens
In college I sang Beatles songs on the streets,
Demanded a cleaner ceiling in my roommate’s brain
In college I watched movies in my mind
Threw away orders from my soul
In college I drank vodka, vandalized Christmas Trees
Picked fights with people who wore knives
In college I thought life was fucked and believed in war
Pepper sprayed myself once and fell to the floor
In college I got prostitutes to come to my dorm room
When they would not fuck for free I got them drunk and watched them throw up all over me
In college I asked girls on dates and got shot down
Sucked on sweet tits, jacked off while my roommate was around
In college I purposely smelled the shit of people from the Middle East
Pissed in elevators and laughed at the Chinese
In college I freaked out every time I saw blind students walking across campus
Found out my friend got raped and told everybody like I was Oprah
In college I talked about the one from home all the time
Came home every chance I got
In college I would go outside and argue with the sky
Stay up for days writing poetry about my imaginary OCD’s
In college I fell into a pile of shit and did not get out
Acted like Arnold Schwarzenegger on the telephone
In college I stole a car, came back, parked by her door
Got in verbal fire arguments with the clues
In college I tasted sex while girls smoked cigarettes
Broke into s girl’s room, called her ugly, hated myself
In college I occupied my time inside my mind
Thought about having a daughter
In college I freaked out the freaks
Asked the dirty teachers for better grades
In college I met wonderful ignorant students and threw up on them
Fed those dirty pigeons money
In college I went and got other people food
Got the shit kicked out of me in the middle of the woods
In college I wore a blindfold around for fun
Laid on the concrete, fell asleep on benches
In college I never cried
With a broken heart put my clothes on a clothes line
In college I missed my family
Asked stupid questions just to get my kicks
In college I spoke gibberish to the American girls
Turned off the lights and went to sleep
In college I let a witch live under my bed
Started a good old fashioned fight, watched people bleed
In college I was around people who did not know me
Made the wrong choices that turned out to be right
In college I fucked my best friend’s older sister
Died everyday listening to people’s problems run away.
In college I played with girl’s stuffed animals
Looked at people stupid scared art and liked it
In college it was always three am
Eating slices of pizza and guilt sandwiches
In college I danced when no one was around
Smoked crack and felt guilty because of my mother
In college I stole books and sold them to the bookstore
Played drums with forks pretending to be homeless
Through The Breath Of My Neighbor
I burn to be gentle,
To feel warm compassion
From the ground to the sky,
I stand naked outside
Staring straight into the blazing sun.
I set myself on fire for the simple chance
To have pure fun again,
To laugh, drenched in rain,
To dance with feet in the flames.
Do you know what it is like
To cut your feelings off on the inside
Because it is too much for you to handle?
Because people told you to?
Of course you do, of course you do.
I allow wolves to eat me alive
So I can have the right
To be a rainbow
From the sprinkler
In your front yard,
I am tired of being hard
Like my father,
I want to be soft,
Like the daughter
He was to afraid to have
Like the colors in the water
That shine his life sad.
Do you know I accept all your lies
And all of your pain,
And I don’t care, I know you are insane.
And top it off, I love you for it,
Somewhere deep down I really love you for it.
I bleed gravel to see God in everything,
I swallow junkyards whole
For the possibility to appreciate
All the silly, spiritual, suffering people
And all their beautiful evil sunset ways.
I bathe in freezing mountain river springs
To feel purely the beauty of being human.
I want tears and joy. I want pain and love.
I want the ability to feel every emotion purely
And see the beauty of that emotion
Through the breath of my neighbor.
On A White Horse To Get There
Every crack smoking hooker waitress is my sister
Every poor dime store homeless miser is my brother
Every wretched stinking slimy bleeding heart is my wife
Every dick sucking fire starting chaotic lung is my husband
I am ten years late
Unfamiliar visitor
Folding paper space
Hold my hand
With your head in an oven
My happiness comes
Intensely from a billion years
Of fiery tender heartache
Every poet is a shaman
Every musician is an ocean
Every artist the sky
Every actor is a legend
We met in the middle of Africa
We all end up together
We moved to America to conquer Satan
What it takes to get there is what makes us different.
Some people fly through the sky on a white horse to get there.
Others burn alive in their bitter remorse
And when they get there,
They do not know where they are
So they go somewhere else
Until the pain regains itself.
Strong Masculine Gentleness
We have given up
Perfect bliss starlight
Heaven happiness
For the chance
To repossess an instant of reassurance
To feel cold feet drowning in lava
To learn what we already know
To create our own individuality
Will you show me what you created?
My eyes are closed
They will not open until you are ready
Please forgive me
For I will not judge
There is a garden
In the graveyard
Where I was born
To wild, sinister, thieves of precious innocence
They taught me the meaning of rotating emptiness,
How to be blinded by the greatest sorrow,
How to worship the silliest flaming ego,
How to endure the assurance of the mother of all teetering hells
While lying to myself,
While denying harmony
I pace back and forth with ignorant selfish worries
Of profit, objectivity, and dust
I become immersed in the ability of love
To forgive the night of pale lust
Which nursed me like a smashed masterpiece
I open my mind to find the simplest way to let my body know it’s precise and ok,
To make time to forgive my soul’s infinite history of allowing me
To deny my sparkling divinity under the warmth of the
Fashionable sky
And to all the lies I have told
To further detach the past from my soul
To reach deeper into the darkness of karmic debt
To forget the only promise I made with the creator of my
Tiny speck
I understand why I did just that
And after I finish crying
I will have a terrific dynamic attractive laugh
And I will give birth to the new thoughts
That will ascend me off the old cross
And carry me into the soft true earth
And when I get there
I know everyone will be there
Excited to feel me like a breathing flower coloring the wind
I have a friend in all of matter
I have a friend in myself
I have a friend in friendship.
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